i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
me + whiskey = a bad person
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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