I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
