Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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