she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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