Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he puts the penis in happiness.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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