dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
