I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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