dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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