I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He passed out mid-signature
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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