We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
