I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
