I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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