i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
