dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
