Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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