dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize