My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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