sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize