Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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