STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
