the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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