I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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