I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
