dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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