Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
