no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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