oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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