I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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