Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
