found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
