Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
