my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
