fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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