I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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