I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize