i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
