she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
