I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
