They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize