probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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