Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
