yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It was confusing and full of hummus
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
