ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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