Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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