"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
