I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
