the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i now understand why vodka
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
