why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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