so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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