i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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