yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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