Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
