I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Actions speak louder than pants.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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