Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
