While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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