Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
