If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
