All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
