Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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