I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
