i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
