How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
