Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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