I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
