On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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