Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
