I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
