So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
