Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
