If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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