i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
