3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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