i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
